GET OFF YOUR ASSES.
I'll back up a bit and clarify that this a phenomenon I've experienced a couple of times recently in various iterations. It's ranged from subtle (extremely bitter vituperations of Ex-BF v. 2.0 that appear to be pulled out of thin air) to flagrant (telling me how gorgeous he thinks I am).
And perhaps the most frustrating example was the following e-mail, which dropped in my inbox last week: "May I say I am jealous of the entrepreneur. I know I have NO right to be... it's irrational, but I am."
In any case, it's clear -- on some level, they're interested in me.
And they're not doing a goddamn thing about it.
I mean, I get it -- the gentlemen in question have all read this blog, particularly the recent entries, and I understand how hard it could be to muster up the guts/will to pursue me in the face of my girlish blathering over the entrepreneur.
But to that, I will post the following picture, which has appeared in my blog once before:
Ain't NO ring on this finger. I've been doing this long enough to know that -- pessimistic as it may be -- I should have ZERO expectations right now for continued affections and attentions from the entrepreneur. Until we make it Facebook official -- and we're not even Facebook friends at this point -- consider me a free agent. And if you're interested in me, you should be trying to sign me on.
Like I said, I get it -- asking people out is scary. And given my writing niche and semi-public position, I may be more intimidating than the average broad to ask out.
But here's the thing: I'm funny, smart, cute and a generally likable person. It's really not that hard to convince guys to take me out for drinks.
If you don't ask me out, someone else will. That's not a threat; that's just a fact of life.
I get that early dating can be truly hard for you men. The onus is generally on you to be the one doing the pursuing. We're even designed that way, genitalia-wise -- men are the pursuers; we women are the pursued.
But goddammit, that's what I want! I want to be pursued! I've said this before, and I'll say it again: I want a guy aggressive enough to go for what he wants. So if you want me, you should go for it!
And, look -- I'm telling you -- I get it. Rejection is always a possibility, and it sucks. Nobody wants to be rejected.
The fact of the matter is, if you ask me out, I might not say yes.
But if you don't ask me out? I DEFINITELY won't say yes!
So don't be jealous -- be proactive. Get the balls and ask me out. There's only one way to find out which way it's going to go.
And to the rest of the men in the world who are spending their days pining over someone: If there is a girl out there you want, apply this lesson to your situation. Don't put her on a pedestal and psyche yourself out. We're living, breathing humans with jobs and friends and dirty dishes in the sink, just like you.
Go for it.
Be brave. Be bold. Kiss the girl.
You'll thank me later.
