Monday, April 4, 2011

The Democrat

So, that date that I got as a result of being auctioned off for charity? It turns out that wouldn't be the only man I'd bag after an evening with the Arlington Young Democrats at Clarendon Grill.

In my frantic campaign that night, I'd spent a hot second chatting with one particular gentleman. He was wearing a suit and had these totally cute square-framed glasses -- I'm not generally into glasses on guys, but he just looked particularly good in them. I don't remember the specifics of anything we'd said to each other then; I was just being flirtatious and trying to ensure a few bids for myself, and he was smiling and laughing at my antics. I couldn't tell you if he ultimately bid on me in the auction, either -- once I hoisted myself onto the stage, the bright spotlight in my eyes turned everyone else in the room into faceless gray blobs.

In any case, the Democrat found me on Facebook afterward and promptly friended me with a note saying it was nice to meet me. We started exchanging messages, and that weekend we floated the idea of stopping by whatever bar the other was at if we ended up in the same area of town -- plans kept intentionally vague to disguise interest level, basically.

Ultimately, my girl Stepf was in town from Cincinnati in order to run the National Marathon and was exhausted that night, and I'd had a particularly crappy week and couldn't muster up the will to gussy up and go out. We ended up spending the evening at home wrapped up in animal-print Snuggies and were in bed by 11:30.

At that point, the Democrat and I exchanged phone numbers and began texting each other -- not a lot, just a few vaguely flirty messages here and there.

Finally, on Thursday, the hinges on my laptop snapped, meaning the mechanism that keeps the screen in place when the laptop is open broke, leaving the screen to flap helplessly in the wind. This caused me great consternation -- I need to use my computer, agghh!!! -- and I wrote a frustrated status about it on Facebook.

The Democrat, it seems, is a bit of a tech geek, and texted me to find out what specifically had happened. I sent him a picture of the fissure, to which he responded that he could probably fix it for me.

"You've made me a very happy woman," I texted back.

We made plans to meet up Friday night that afternoon, which was just dumb luck -- my weekend nights are high-priced real estate and usually get booked up pretty far in advance. I'd been joking about going to Cost-co or Union Station to eat a dinner entirely composed of free samples when the Democrat said his mother would never allow that. Instead, he suggested, we could meet up at Capitol City Brewing Company near Union Station for dinner and drinks, and afterward he would perform the necessary surgery on my laptop.

I was a little bit apprehensive while Metroing out to meet the Democrat because while he'd given a good first impression, there was a risk he'd be a Resume Spouter. I've touched on this type before, way back when I dated the financial analyst: the kind of guys who incessantly go on and on about their degrees, their accomplishments, who they know and how they know them. It's an epidemic here in D.C., the town where networking is king. And I find that guys who are involved in politics generally tend to be the biggest culprits of this.

The Democrat had gotten to the Cap City before me, so he'd snagged a table for the two of us. I ambled over to join him, awkwardly setting my backpack with my laptop in it down and settling in at our booth. We ordered drinks and began chatting while perusing the menu.

I immediately liked him. For starters, the conversation very nearly began with him making some sort of  wildly inappropriate comment, which wouldn't have shocked me in any other situation, but for someone whom I met at a political function, I was stunned. The Democrat went on to say that he has no filter from his brain to his mouth -- something I say about myself ALL THE TIME.

And that wouldn't be the first time I'd find myself going, "Hey, me too!" that night. We had a few sturdy things in common. The Democrat is from the Midwest, for example -- just south of Cincinnati. I got the sense that our growing-up experiences were pretty similar, though he went to an all-boys private high school whereas mine was decidedly public and co-ed. (That led to a pretty funny joke, actually -- I said something about there being "100 percent more vagina" at my high school. Maybe you had to be there, but regardless, we laughed.)

The Democrat has recently passed the bar and is pursuing an advanced law degree part time while he job searches. This again was something that felt comforting -- my parents are lawyers, so it's a familiar subject to me (though he wants to use his degree for policy work and not litigation).

When we ordered food, he made a beeline for the barbecue pulled pork sandwich -- anybody who has been around me long enough knows I COMPLETELY LOSE MY SHIT over barbecue pulled pork. (Seriously, is there anything MORE delicious on this planet? I would argue there is not!)

The Democrat and I started discussing how much we love barbecue, which then transitioned us into another major thing we have in common -- we've both lost huge amounts of weight, literally dropping to half our size. It is INSANELY awesome to meet someone who has gone through the same struggle with their weight. You don't know what it's like until you've been through it, and most people just don't understand.

"So you went from 240 to one-hundred-and-sexy?" the Democrat joked, which, admittedly, was super cheesy, but endearing all the same. From there, he complimented me a lot, causing me to blush uncontrollably.

After dinner we decided to walk to Chinatown so we could Metro over to his place in Columbia Heights so he could fix my laptop there. We continued talking and joking with each other, and to me it just felt easy! I was really, really enjoying myself.

Once we reached Columbia Heights, we made a pit stop for a six-pack before continuing on to his apartment. He went to work straight away on repairing my laptop's broken hinges, while I nervously sat nearby, like a relative pacing the waiting room halls while their loved one is in the OR.

Unfortunately, the Democrat's solution -- using epoxy on the broken pieces -- didn't work. I had to type this entire entry with my laptop's screen propped up against a pillow. But that didn't stop me from making out with the Democrat a little later -- the chemistry was there, and I was feeling the moment!

So... um... I actually ended up spending the night there. It had gotten late, and Metroing home from Columbia Heights would have been an hourlong affair. And the Democrat and I had talked earlier about how it had been a while since either one of us had been in a relationship, and how much we liked to cuddle, so... we did. We cuddled, and it was magnificent. It is SO AWESOME to sleep next to someone, to fall asleep to the rhythm of their breaths (unless they snore -- that's something else entirely). And I assure you: I followed the No Shave to Behave rule, so while he definitely made a valiant effort at going further, I remained a good girl for the evening.

I left early the next morning and texted him later on that day to say I'd had a great time.

However, the drawbacks: The Democrat is 26, and, as I mentioned, job searching. If you look at the man chart I made, that puts him squarely in "the Danger Zone." It's a probability that dating is not his highest priority right now, and more than that, he could very easily end up far away from the D.C.-area if he were to find a killer job elsewhere. Additionally, the younger thing just sort of nags at me anyway -- it just feels like guys are supposed to be the older ones in a relationship, not the opposite. I don't know why I'm hell-bent on thinking that way. In any case, those things make me a little wary of getting in deeper with him.

Regardless, if he asks me out again, I will probably go. I had a good time, and I'm fairly certain I'd like to keep getting to know him.

20 comments:

  1. I'm the older one in my relationship! And my mother is 2 years older than my dad and they are very happy. Don't let that deter you! He sounds great!

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  2. Aside from the meaty aspect, this sounds like it could have been a date I had, myself. Therefore, I like.

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  3. I'm still looking forward to hearing about your date with NLS!

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  4. no shave to behave rule, I LOVE IT!

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  5. Sleepover cuddling on the first date? For real? and you wonder why you're single.

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  6. Anonymous 7:20 hasn't been on a date in years, much less had anyone who has had the desire to sleep next to them in that long.

    I love the No Shave to Behave rule and so what if it was your first date. It something feels right, it probably is so you went with it.

    Glad to see that you are back!

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  7. Yeah, seriously, anonymous at 7:20. I hate judgmental people who think they know everything and feel the need to advertise their omniscience in a condescending manner.

    If you have a relationship, good work, 'cause they're hard, but that doesn't mean you know all the 'rules'. there are SO many dating options these days; there is also a lot of luck involved.

    if there's anything anyone can agree on about dating rules, it's that no amount of rules will make it work if the people aren't a good match for each other, and if they are right for each other, rules just don't matter!!

    some girls don't WANT judgmental guys who would write them off for not being a virgin, and first date sleepovers are a pretty good way to screen out the losers who still think we live in the 1800's, sexually, but also want their wives to do all the housework for them after they get home from their full time jobs!!! no thank you!!

    sorry bout the rant, heh. but really, it is just not necessary to be so annoying.

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  8. No shave to behave backfired on me last time. I did not behave nor did I shave...be careful :)

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  9. This might rile some of you up but I think it might be of help given the nature of yesterday's post.

    Anon 7:20 might have been obnoxiously pissy and trying to be mean, but they have a point.

    From the way it's written, it doesn't appear that this guy even asked Katie out. She accepted his last minute invitation, he got her to haul out to meet him, he gave her booze, got her to come back to his apartment, gave her more booze and got her to sleep over. He didn't even ask her out!

    You guys were just saying yesterday that you can't find any men who want to settle down. This is why.

    There is such a thing as being too easy (not in the sexual way).

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  10. Two years younger? Give me a break. You cannot bemoan the lack of good men one day and then dismiss potential because he's TWO YEARS younger than you are at 28. Ridiculous.

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  11. TB: I didn't dismiss him. I merely said him being younger made me wary. If he asks me out again, I'll go.

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  12. I see no problem in staying the first night. You drew a line when he wanted to go further, and he'll respect that. Plus, cuddling is seriously amazing :-)

    Pretty devo he couldn't fix the laptop screen though, hopefully another solution will avail!

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  13. I'm also the older one in my relationship -- though only by a year! (My boyfriend insists on calling me a "cougar" anyway. Gah.)

    Sounds like a really cute and fun guy, and I love that he was willing to help you out with your computer! Men who go out of their way to help ladies warm my heart. And I'm totally with you on the No Shave to Behave rule... works like a charm. :) And so necessary.

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  14. I'm not so sure that every single time you hang out with a guy its necessary for him to formally ask you out and call it a date. Sometimes you end up on a "date" in the most unexpected of ways...yes, sure this is totally rare and probably more suited for a movie script but it does happen.

    In this case, yeah they were flirty as katie said over text but perhaps they were so at ease and so comfortable with each other since the pressure and label of "first date" wasn't on the table. And perhaps that made sleeping over so much less threatening. She slept next to not with him so no harm no foul.

    Also Katie, I really wouldn't stress about the age issue unless he starts acting like a child. Frankly my ex who is our age acted like he was 18 sometimes and just the same someone who is merely 26 can act as you would "expect" someone who is 28 to. He just might surprise you. The potential for him to up and leave for a job sucks but that doesn't mean its going to happen. Just go with it for now.

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  15. He's an investment, maybe he could be your sugar daddy once he gets his big lawyer job. Do it.

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  16. So glad you're back in the saddle and having fun, too! I don't know exactly why, but I really like the sound of this one.

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  17. Ooh - I like the sound of this! Can't wait to hear where it goes. And, although the chart is a good one, there are always guys who don't fit within the lines.

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  18. I totally agree with 'Pretty young thing'....just because it wasn't titled an official date doesn't make it any less of a date. I just turned 29 and my bf is 25. It definitely stresses me out that I'm way older but so far he's been worth the risk:)

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  19. Katie: Re-read your post quoted below.

    It is good to be wary, but the quoted material is written an awful lot like someone having reasons to not date someone that are mainly made-up theories rather than anything that actually matters in what makes a relationship work. I know you said you'd go out again, but the guy already has a strike or two against him because of things not really about who he is. So are you going to give up on him/lose too much enthusiasm if you find any real strikes against him because he's already got a few? I have noticed a pattern among my friends in which the single ones think like this, but the married ones were much more willing to truly overlook things that don't matter. Everyone does it to some degree, the question is how much?

    I write this to help, not to hate, unlike some commenters. I'm not judging either, maybe you do this, maybe you don't. You and your friends can evaluate that, not me.

    "However, the drawbacks: The Democrat is 26, and, as I mentioned, job searching. If you look at the man chart I made, that puts him squarely in "the Danger Zone." It's a probability that dating is not his highest priority right now, and more than that, he could very easily end up far away from the D.C.-area if he were to find a killer job elsewhere. Additionally, the younger thing just sort of nags at me anyway -- it just feels like guys are supposed to be the older ones in a relationship, not the opposite. I don't know why I'm hell-bent on thinking that way. In any case, those things make me a little wary of getting in deeper with him."

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  20. Arg, what is up with laptops? My HP Mini netbook just up and died last weekend, and I lost a bunch of stuff, including an awesome blong entry. :(

    Anyway, Democrat sounds like he could be awesome! Guys who help and fix things are often keepers!

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