What's the best way to balance momentum in early dating with a busy schedule without 'running over' the other person? You can't really pull out the agendas and lay out for them the free days for the rest of the month. And I don't want to be only dragging them to things I've already planned all the time. That would drive me crazy to be on the receiving end of that. But I feel awful if I've been on one date and would like a second and lo and behold my next open time slot isn't for a week and a half. And if that's the case for reasons beyond your control, what are some good ways to keep it rolling until then?
Date Me, D.C. says:
Well, I've got an answer for you, but you're probably not going to like it. You've got to prioritize dating just as much as you're prioritizing everything else. What that means is that sometimes, you've got to cancel plans or say no to other things to keep a spot in your schedule for someone you want to meet up with.
**cue readers clutching pearls and gasping in horror**
I know it's girl blasphemy to say that. We're not supposed to give up any time in our precious schedules for a MAN. Ugh, who could possibly imagine?!?!
But in all seriousness, I don't understand why people treat dating like it's this thing that's totally and completely different from everything else you're doing in your life. In my view, it's just another activity you've signed up to do, and if you want to keep your membership active, you've got to figure out a way to fit it into your schedule.
Relationships require a lot of prioritizing. You'd drop everything you were doing in an instant if you found out your significant other had gotten into a car wreck and was in the hospital, right? No matter what you were in the middle of, you'd figure out a way to get there. That's the most dramatic example, obviously, but consider maintaining friendships. If you never sought out plans to hang out or otherwise contact a person, at some point you would no longer be friends.
The same goes for budding romantic connections. If you never give that person the time of day, at some point he will no longer be interested.
What's scary, I will concede, is that even if you DO give him the time of day, at some point he may also not be interested. And that sucks, and I get it. You don't want to waste your time on someone who ultimately does not want to be with you.
But unfortunately, there's no way to know what will happen before you give it a shot. So, if you like the guy, take an honest look at your schedule. Will someone die if you miss this event? Will you get fired if you miss that? If the answers are no, perhaps you can send your regrets and go on a date instead.